Today is the day in Jersey City (every couple of years or so) when all the landlords and all the landladies join together and hire their most loyal esteemed employees to do whatever is possible in order to pass the State Inspection. Bare minimum.
Today, you might see examples like this:
1. Backyards! Many backyards in this town, most of which look like they could adapt a nickname like “The Forbidden Forest” or “The place where that girl got raped” or, you know, resemble something similar to the set of Sanford & Son, will TRANSFORM into something closer to… the apocalypse?… or, the sad part of Ferngully?… or a slightly tidier version of the Sanford & Son set, but now featuring more piles of things, and more boxes to hide the things that kept falling off the piles.
2. Smoke Detectors! Today, local residents will often be caught scrambling to the nearest bodega in search of dusty 9-volt batteries for smoke detectors that haven’t worked for years- a vast majority of which have been hanging from their kitchen ceilings, appearing to be some sort of found modern art.
and…
3. Weirdos! Today is the best day to discover who’s really living in your building like, maybe you didn’t know there was a sizable agoraphobic man living upstairs who refuses to open his door. Maybe you know now, and maybe you wish you’d just left the keys under the mat.
-SRS
